Novius Infernal Berserk

About Myself

Hey! First of all, it's important to mention that I'm located in Europe/Austria - Upper Austria, not anywhere in the US. The website didn't allow me to choose my actual real-life location. I don't train formal martial arts in a gym due to sensory overload & chronic overtraining, but I train autonomously at home & outdoors. I'm looking for reliable, ego-free MMA/NHB training & sparring partners near my location in Upper Austria for technical movement drills & light-to-medium sparring. Hard sparring would only be an option when there is an already existing, trusting friendship. My primary goal is to build healthy friendships with like-minded guys, where technical combat & safe sparring actually mutate into a form of bonding ritual. Technical progress is nice but secondary. I mainly want to use sparring as a regulation tool against my internal tension. I'm a very polite, upfront & honest guy. I want any training to be done carefully with mutual respect & in a controlled, playful way without hurting each other. If there is unregulated domination, ego-brawling, or real destruction, it's not training to me. I'm not really built for highly competitive pressure and although I have a history of consensual, unregulated & highly emotional street & ego brawl meetings, I'm only looking for the opposite nowadays. I have a combined personality disorder (structurally a borderline personality organization which is partly overwritten by a "malignant narcissistic" core, presenting itself in an anxious-avoidant & schizoid-autonomous way) & most likely AuDHD. My brain works similarly to a machine & on a meta-level. I practice a functional "berserkergang" as a method of psychological sublimation, heavily inspired by warrior lore & a dark berserker vibe. I'm openly homoromantic but located on the asexual spectrum. In fact, I have some sort of asexual "agonophilia". I'm deeply fascinated by the kinetic intensity & survival instinct triggered by combat. My weight is rather fluid &